THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
