I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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