his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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