I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
