yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
