I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
