is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
