I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
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so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
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So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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