im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
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