I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
