If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
