my vag is so smooth its legendary
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
