Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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