I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
