I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
