Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
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As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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