I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
