You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
40s are totally the cure
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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