my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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