Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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