I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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