Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
