I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
