i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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