From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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