he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
