I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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