At least make sure they are 18
Why
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We left the knife in your bed.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
