You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
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watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
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She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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