I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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