i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
