I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
