Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
