my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
