But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize