This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Who did Billy Mays play for?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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