He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
