Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
