we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
