Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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