I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
