we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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