I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
