i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
