Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
