i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Dignity is for republicans.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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