grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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