How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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