remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
