she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
