the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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