i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
