Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
