forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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