is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
