Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
