I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
