So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
is it fun? or sober?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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