I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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