In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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