Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
