My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
